Batmania

On cloudy nights in Melbourne, look up at the sky above the city and you'll see circling spotlights. And it brings me great displeasure to report - they are not Bat Signals.

I know this because, this time last year, I was at a Prime Ministerial function. And Johnny said they weren't. So that decided that.

HA, kidding, like I'd believe anything he said. ACTUALLY, I was camped outside with the protesting rabble. And also camped outside were a couple of spotlight operators, who have been hired by some misguided soul who thought great shafts of light were appropriate to indicate the PM's presence. So I took the only reasonable course - I asked these operators if they ever projected Bat Signals. They said no.. but that they had AT LEAST ONE CALL A DAY ASKING IF THEY COULD.

So explain to me this. I sit in my office overnight, everynight, and the cops consistently tell me that there's no crime for me to be worrying my head about. BUT, there's obviously enough crime for Melbourne citizens to be thinking about summoning the assistance of a crime-fighting superhero, ON A DAILY BASIS. Yet the cops don't know about it. Shakes head. This is EXACTLY how things in Gotham City went downhill.

While I have no solution for that dire situation, the whole thing brings me to an amazing business opportunity. How hard could it be to buy a spotlight, put a bat-shaped cut-out over it, and hire it out as a Bat Signal?

I mean, the demand is obviously there!

**The probable reason that the demand is there, is because Melbourne was going to be called Batmania. I still kind of wish it was.